It’s been a while, lots of drafts started and stopped. Student teaching, recent home ownership, and tying up loose ends for graduation have kept me busy. Excuses, excuses. It seems I traffic in them as often as I hear them from my own students. Nonetheless, my most recent reflections follow:

A moment ago the wall I was leaning on began to flex and undulate. In the hallway behind me, a fight was underway. Students filing into my cooperating teacher’s AP English class announced the fight, and as I got up to assist, one stopped me, explaining quietly, “they got it.”

It was this quietude that I found remarkable. I watched as some of the other students came in, and while some were clearly pumped up from the commotion, even more came in slowly, wearily. I don’t pretend to see into their psyches, but from my seat in the corner of the room I saw something akin to shame, as if the weight of their peers’ fights somehow rests upon their shoulders.

Maybe that makes sense. These kids have worked so hard, have taken on extra responsibilities, and have made school their top priority. This despite the odds that are stacked squarely against these mostly urban students who are mostly of color. (One student lives forty miles north of here, but it is important to his family that he attend this school. Another student is white.) For their peers to succumb to the low expectations that society has placed upon all of them has got to be a disappointment. Perhaps more to the point, when their peers act crazy, it makes these kids that are trying so grasp what must seem more and more like a golden ring.

Anyway, I don’t teach the A.P. kids, as I haven’t had the training, but these are the kids who inspire me. I still wrestle with how I do or don’t feel about this kind of academic tracking, and I still love my other students (who also inspire me), but there is something uniquely rewarding and inspiring about spending time amidst this fifth hour class.

Last night in my Methods class, my professor began a critique of D.O.L. (daily oral language – total garbage) by explaining that “D.O.L. is not a hardcore punk band, that’s S.O.D.,” which I think was lost on everyone but me.

At the break I asked if he could remember what S.O.D. stood for, to which he replied, rightly, “Stormtroopers of Death?”

It was a fine moment.

Speak English or Die

And really, in a classroom full (okay, there were four of us) of preservice Language Arts teachers, doesn’t it just make sense to invoke a band whose catchiest slogan was the very tongue in cheek “Speak English or Die?”  I think so.

sweet, sweet, slumber.

Am I the only one who is tired pretty much all the time?  Probably not, but I am kind of a baby in that my body (and temperament) requires a lot of sleep (something like 8 or 9 hours is about perfect, and rarely attained), and this burning the candle at both ends business is kind of new to me.  If that sounds like complaining, let me say that I’m not sure I really even have an opinion on the matter just yet; in some ways I feel like I’m being incredibly productive and that all of this work is terribly exciting and rewarding.  Other times I nap for fifteen minutes and cover the corner of my pillow in drool.

And so I will fault my adjustment issues and newfound fatigue for the fact that I’ve been an unfaithful journaler, moving from days to weeks in the counter.  Such an excuse rests on two premises: 1) you’re paying attention in the first place, and 2) such an excuse is completely acceptable, as if, after a transcontinental flight, you invited me to dinner, and I, after waking up in my mashed potatoes, apologized, saying, “oh, man, how embarrassing, this jet lag is awful.”  In my scenario, you might reply, “I can only imagine.  More Shiraz?”

Really, it’s the internet, and a blog at that: the whole thing is my scenario.  I mean, we might as well be playing Dungeons and Dragons for Christ’s sake (this language, the disjointed thoughts – the result of sleep deprivation and preparation for a Salinger unit, or a byproduct of this evening’s drinking?  And do you mean to tell me that Salinger never drank while writing?)

And so we move on, because we can.  Please note that most of what follows was scribbled into a notebook immediately after engaging in some sort of activity with students, and the writing style reflects as much.

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Student Teaching: 9.10.07

3rd Hour English 10

Question: How the hell do I get them to stop talking?

I wrote that after presenting a list of vocabulary.  I thought I’d help the kids out and make copies of the words and their definitions, and while that was all nice and altruistic (one of the words!) of me, it was ultimately a bad move given that, with list in hand, the students had absolutely nothing to do but talk to one another.  I had removed any reason they might have otherwise had to listen to me, and this fact was not lost on them.  Or me.

Sixth Hour English 10

This time the students were copying the words and their definitions from an overhead the cooperating teacher had prepared on the computer, and this active component really helped things to go more smoothly than they had 3rd hour.

* * * * *

Student Teaching 09.11.07

3rd Hour English 12 – Vocabulary Review

This actually went pretty well.  Question: Is it bad that only a few students answer, or are these just the ones who are prepared?  Do I need to call on specific students to set the precedent: I might get called on so I better know my stuff?

My cooperating teacher had to interrupt at one point to call someone out for making a negative comment.  I’d missed the comment entirely, but as the student was reprimanded, I couldn’t help but feel as though a little of the blame lay with me, as if this was something I should have headed off somehow.

4th Hour English 10  – Vocab Review

Seems to be getting better.  Same questions as above.  Cooperating teacher says a good solution is to tell certain students to hold off and give someone else a chance (if they’ve been dominating the discussion).

6th Hour English 10 – Vocab Review

Tried asking student who knew every word to give others a chance; he seemed offended but it worked.  Others (i.e. those not named for famous Harlem Renaissance poets) were able to contribute.  Students listened well, too, and responded to correction/redirection.

* * * * *

Student Teaching 9.12.07

3rd Hour English 12

Slowly increasing my presence in front of the students, and my level of assertion with behavior management.  Seems to be steadily improving; more of a rapport/respect.  Of course 3rd hour = less rowdy.

4th Hour English 10

Felt much more comfortable.  Cooperating teacher talked to me about letting kids talk too much during my vocab review/journal prompt 3rd hour, despite my efforts to step it up.  So this hour I tried to step it up more and it seemed to work.  By the time I had done 9 of the 10 vocabulary words, everybody knew which word was left, so I made it into an extra credit deal for anybody who could define it in their own words.

6th Hour English 12

I had to stop a lot to get through the vocab list, but they seemed to get that, didn’t give me a lot of static, but rather respect.  Or something like it.  It seems to come more naturally every time I do it, and more fun.  Did the extra credit thing again and it worked well – cool to see so many students racing to flip through their notebooks to get the answer.

Yesterday was, on the whole, a fairly uneventful day of classroom observation from my perch at the side of the room.

During the last hour, however, I got to try my hand at classroom management.  It pretty much blew up in my face.  The last hour of the day is fairly rowdy, which is normal; kids are ready to go home.  This class is also made up of lots and lots of seniors, maybe even more than fit in the room itself.  So far, as I said, I’ve only been observing, but when the teacher stepped out of the room briefly during a quiz, the kids started getting loud.  It took me a minute to get up my nerve, and finally I said this:

“Oh, so the teacher leaves the room and you all fall out, like I’m not in here?  You know, I’m gonna be teaching you in like two weeks.”

This was immediately answered with a smart comment that I didn’t hear, but which judging from the resounding laughter was fairly hilarious.  I remained silent, feeling a bit dumb.

Upon reflection, though, I’m glad I said something, to sort of establish myself as someone who isn’t going to put up with a whole lot of craziness.  Of course I wish I’d said something sooner, but there will definitely be more opportunities.

Well, it’s no secret that I like to drink (hey, was that you who came across my blog by searching “brooklyn teacher drink specials”? Welcome!), but I understand some of you prefer more wholesome forms of therapy from the gruel of an educator’s life.

I give you LearningLaffs.

Today was more observation, which is me sitting at a desk at the side of the room.  While I’ve yet to nod off, I notice that I become very tired sitting there all day with nothing to do but watch.  Today I took notes each class period.  The basic skeleton looks something like this:

Starts positive – compliment about pep fest or something from yesterday

Review

Informal Assessment with its own built-in review

Journaling

It’s a formula I think I can get behind.   What it is not is 45 minutes of lecture; instead the students are busy learning for most of the time.

I can already tell, though, that as the day goes on, the students get rowdier.  I suppose this makes sense, and so now the challenge will be in determining how much noise I will tolerate, and how strict I want to be as far as consequences are concerned.  The cooperating teacher seems to have a pretty good handle on this, but I worry that much of her clout is based on existing relationships and/or her maternal status within the classroom.  I’ll have to find my own style.  She laughs a lot, even as she’s disciplining, and I like that.  Humor has always been my main go-to within the classroom.

In the end, it was a good day, especially since I learned not long after leaving that the school I used to work at, just a mile south of the school I’m student teaching at, had a pretty brutal girlfight involving blood splattering, handcuffs, and a police officer getting either kicked or punched in the groin, depending on whose account you trust.

Today was the first day of student teaching with the added benefit of real live students, who, in keeping with American tradition, returned from their summer break on this first day after Labor Day.

I sat at a desk and observed, introduced warmly once per hour by my cooperating teacher.

Regular readers of this blog will recall that I come from an E/BD background. Let me tell you this. I was kind of freaked out today by how normal and polite the students were. It was great. Some of them even made small talk with me, asking questions about where I go to school, how long I’ve been in school, when and for how long I’m going to teach them. Did I already say that it was great?  I barely heard any foul language or gang talk all day, and believe me when I say I was listening out for it: I’ve been trained to.

And a damn good thing, too, because I couldn’t sleep for shit last night, thinking about this whole experience. Today, coming into something approximating lucidity, I realized that I couldn’t put a finger on what exactly had me so terrified. Certainly it was enough to give me nervous stomach once I got within a block of the school, but even so, I knew I was only going to be observing today, so why all the terror?

I know that there will be nights when I’ll be writing about what a hard day it was, but right now, I’m just thrilled by this whole experience and the promise that it holds for my students and I.

Finally, I touched base with my supervisor as provided by the university. She made it clear from the beginning that she is uncomfortable with the title of “supervisor”, and after acknowledging that she, the cooperating teacher, and myself are all kind of unorthodox in our approach to teaching, we launched into a ten minute discussion about educational philosophy as it relates to urban learners. She seems brilliant, and I’m excited to learn more from her.

Not only that, but she offered some lesson plans for Catcher in the Rye, so that can’t hurt.

Thursday was my second full day of the student teaching experience, and the last day before the arrival of the students (that happens tomorrow). The morning began with some sort of ill-defined and confusing workshop. I sat through this for a bit, but was soon rescued by my cooperating teacher. She gave me a key to “the bookroom” and told me to find a book to teach to the incoming 12th graders.

Despite having a strong desire to teach a dynamic multicultural curriculum, I was limited both by the selections found on the shelves and my familiarity with them. I was a little disappointed, then, when my list looked like this:

Ernest Hemingway: The Sun Also Rises

Arthur Miller: The Crucible

Frank Chin: Donald Duk

J. D. Salinger: The Catcher in the Rye

Four men, three of them white. So much for diversity. In the end I chose Catcher in the Rye, simply because it’s the one I know best. It’s been years since I’ve read Donald Duk, and I knew I wouldn’t have the time required to read it and put together a meaningful unit plan around it.

Besides, as my sister points out, Holden Caulfield can be whatever race the reader desires.

Now to put together some lesson plans.

catcher in the rye

The Minneapolis Star Tribune reported today that meeting No Child Left Behind standards of Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) is proving increasingly difficult for Minnesota schools, which begs the question – even if NCLB is completely fucked, is it that hard to play the game anyway and teach kids how to pass the test anyway?

I honestly don’t pretend to know. Thankfully, neither does my hero*, St. Paul Public Schools Superintendent Meria Carstarphen, who has a cameo in the article:

St. Paul Superintendent Meria Carstarphen said many factors are feeding those numbers, including new and more difficult math tests and even how the tests were given. Two months ago, she challenged the validity of the new tests. Now, she’s questioning what this list really shows.

‘Keeps shifting, changing’

“Some of it is simply a challenge to understand,” she said of schools that are showing improvement on many measures, including the district’s own tests, but still miss their goals.

I don’t understand it, either, but something will have to change unless we want to raise generations of young people who have absolutely no faith in their academic abilities.

For full text of the article, go here. As always with Star Tribune articles, you’ll have to do a seven-day free trial, which you can do by making up a birth year and a zip code.

*I suppose if she were really my hero, that would mean that I aspire towards some sort of administrative position. This is not the case.

Wednesday was my first official full day as a student teacher. As luck would have it, there was an all day speaker that day, which meant that I could slouch somewhat anonymously in the auditorium for the most part. Not completely, though, as there were opportunities for introductions, at which time my cooperating teacher said to me, “Don’t worry, I got you”, then, louder, “This is my brilliant, dynamic, excellent student teacher.” It was equal parts embarrassing and awesome.

The speaker was Principal Baruti K. Kafele, a principal from Newark, New Jersey. He spoke mostly about the achievement gap, especially as it relates to Black and Latino students. The school I’m student teaching at actually has a large African American and Hmong population, but I think overall the message is the same: educators need to tailor their curriculum to their students, to let them know who they are via their rich history in order to allow them to fully realize their potential.

Kafele is a dynamic speaker, and it was truly an honor to spend the day learning from him. What sticks with me most from his presentation is his reference of a recent L.A. times article which reports that, in California (and we’re kidding ourselves if we think this to be anything but a national trend), poor white and Asian students are outperforming middle class Black and Latino students.

From the article:

Jack O’Connell, the state superintendent of public instruction, turned heads in education circles last week with the message that race, not poverty, helped explain why African American and Latino students lagged behind their white and Asian counterparts.

It wasn’t what he said that was remarkable. It was the fact that he said it at all.

“These are not just economic achievement gaps, they are racial achievement gaps,” O’Connell said after his annual release of California’s standardized test scores. “We cannot afford to excuse them; they simply must be addressed.”

Thankfully, the article also addressed the probability that some will take this data and run with it, affirming their own bigotry:

But some cautioned that there were dangers in beginning such a conversation — and that, in any case, talk about race was useless without carefully calibrated action to encourage higher achievement by black and Latino students.

“It’s tricky to figure out how to introduce it in public,” said Ron Ferguson, director of the Achievement Gap Initiative at Harvard University and author of a forthcoming book on the subject. He said he worried that such discussions could lead not to constructive changes but to “blame and responsibility and maybe even genetics.”

Jeannie Oakes, a professor in the graduate school of education at UCLA who has sometimes been critical of O’Connell, praised him for raising the issue. “It’s a new level of candor, I think, about the combination of factors that seem to relate to low achievement,” she said.

But Oakes added: “When you go down this path, then we have to be very careful about what we choose to talk about and examine, because it’s very easy to fall into stereotypical views, and historical views, of people with darker skin being less intelligent . . . or people from immigrant families and African Americans not valuing education.”

And, readers, while I trust that you can read the entire article for yourselves if you so choose, allow the superintendent of L.A. Unified School District to sound in, won’t you? His candor in holding all involved adults responsible is refreshing:

David L. Brewer, superintendent of the Los Angeles Unified School District, said he welcomed O’Connell’s heightened attention to the issue, and said that he, too, has been looking for ways to raise the performance of African American and Latino students.

There are strategies that are known to be effective, and schools, some in his district, can be used as case studies of what works, he said.

“The key is personalized instruction and teachers who don’t allow students to fail,” he said. “And then you get the results you expect to get. We know what works; it’s making everybody do what works.”

In that respect, he said, he’ll talk to employee unions about modifying work rules to allow for longer school days and more flexible schedules within the school day.

Brewer said that although L.A. Unified had made strides in academic achievement at elementary schools, “after the fourth grade, something is happening with African American and Latino students.”

And the solution does not entirely lie in the schools, Brewer said. Responsibility also lies with the family: “We’re going to have to make sure parents understand this is a problem,” he said. “Our black and brown children can do math and science: We want that message loud and clear in your homes. We want parents to make sure they’re holding their children accountable.”

Back to Kafele. He referred at one point to what he does as his “ministry.” Perhaps it should not be surprising, then, when he talks at length about helping boys to become men. He told a story about his stock graduation address, in which he asks the graduating men to stand up, turn around, and face the crowd. Then he asks the men in the crowd to stand up, and promise to take a young man under their wing. I have no problem with mentorship, but I couldn’t help noticing their was no mention of helping young ladies become women, or young people to become adult citizens. It felt rather Promise Keepers to me, kind of lopsided.

I understand that I am coming from a very caucasian two-parent background, and certainly issues of men abandoning their posts as fathers, etc. are more pronounced in some minority communities, yet it still feels like a partial measure to me. If we are teaching students about their rich histories, legacies, and limitless possibilities, why would we do so in a way that makes half of them feel subservient?

Having said that, Principal Kafele is a brilliant man with a strong commitment to education, and I really am grateful for the opportunity to learn from him.

* * * * *

Finally, during a breakout session with the English department, the chair of the department was heard to say this in reference to a reading list Kafele had suggested:

“I’m not much of a reader.”